[Teralogos News] Too Much to Swallow?

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Too Much to Swallow?
 
THE COMBS, Mare Frigoris Industrial Zone, Luna/Teralogos          Jan 27, 
2101   
   
"When I realized what had happened, I was giddy at first - then I got 
mad!"   
   
When lunar geology graduate student Beth Shang stumbled across what 
appeared to be alien artifacts in a previously unexplored lava tube in 
Mare Frigoris, she was stunned. So were her classmates from the University 
of Melbourne, on Luna for a field research trip. Excited (and skeptical) 
messages were flying across the web even as the artifacts - a series of 
black, diamond-fiber pillars - were discovered. Equipment and personnel were rushed to the site from Luna City and even Earth. Unconfirmed reports had the Prime Minister of Australia being awakened to be told the news, and the JSDF/ADF Lunar Composite Force at Tranquility preparing to secure the site for the PRA.   
   
"I was there when Dr. Howard removed the last pillar, and we found 
the Don't Eat That! sign under it," continued Beth. "My first 
reaction was to laugh, and look for the cameras. Like pretty much 
everybody, I enjoy Don't Eat That! on InVid whenever I can catch it. I 
just never expected to be the butt of one of their pranks."   
   
Don't Eat That! is the enormously popular InVid hidden-camera prank and 
game show hosted by former KT Event lead singer Min Volume. In a typical 
episode, hidden InVid cameras record a series of increasingly outlandish 
pranks played on an unsuspecting victim. When the victim realizes what's 
going on, he or she can play games - typically involving messy substances - for cash prizes.   
   
The Don't Eat That! episode for January 26 was different, however, in that 
the producers spent upwards of eight million dollars to artfully conceal 
plausibly alien items in a fairly inaccessible part of Luna. One of the 
producers has a relative in the U. Melbourne graduate program, and learned 
of the upcoming expedition. Inspiration struck, and the Don't Eat That! team scrambled to set up the prank in time.   
   
"We honestly never realized it would go that far," claimed Don't 
Eat That! producer Saito Aki. "We'd never done something on that 
scale, we didn't know it would spiral out of control like that."   
   
Don't Eat That! has been hit with a $50 million bill from the University 
of Melbourne, which is trying to cover the costs of their rapid deployment 
to the site. The producers are still in discussions with their lawyers as 
to whether to comply with this demand. Other damages, however, will be 
harder to repair.   
   
"For a brief moment, I thought the universe was suddenly much more 
exciting than we had believed, and that we'd finally discover some sign of 
alien life in the cosmos," said Beth Shang. "Now, I'm just kind 
of sad that the height of human civilization is a stupid game show."   
   
- filed by Jamais Cascio