IN> Beautifying Hell

[James Walker]

To assume that something cannot be done merely because
it never has is foolish; neither Heaven nor Hell waste
resources on foolish activities. Normally. But
sometimes...
The Media needs a constant supply of worthless
trinkets to advertise to the Damned in Perdition –
anything that gives the illusion of status at the cost
of essence. So when the Demon of Gardening Programs
decided to use CelProjection to bring vast numbers of
garden shrubs to Hell (keeping them there by killing
them-GIN p 166) he found himself on an unlikely winner
– everybody who was *anybody* (ie all of the nobodies)
simply had to have them. Supply has never been able to
meet demand; shrubs sell at a base 5 essence each. Of
course, this is Hell – a status symbol in your front
yard is just asking to be stolen, much to Valefor's
delight. And between the poor soil of Hell, constant
transplanting by thieves and the occasional Bonsai
amateur, they rarely survive a year.
Novalis is understandably furious. Peaceful in nature,
her angels are focused on ways to prevent the plants
being destroyed in Hell – after all, if they survive,
they can be rescued after Armageddon. Soldiers of The
Media get a phone call explaining the advantages of
learning basic gardening – those advantages being that
the Malakite calling will kill evildoers elsewhere.
That way the Soldier of Hell can further the cause of
Flowers after he does die.

Flowers has also launched a mildly effective campaign
focused on harming The Media. That vents some steam,
and more importantly, convinces Nybbas that Novalis is
flailing about impotently.
It's important that he think that. After all,
Armageddon is coming – sooner or later. And if
Perdition is covered in plants, then Novalis will have
no difficulty wresting it from Nybbas. The look on
Michael's face when she does so should be delightful!

Cheers, James.


		
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